After spending a month in South
East Asia where riding elephants up to seven thousand feet in Chiang Mai,
Thailand and trekking through the jungles of North Vietnam with our ninja tour
guide name Dat was an everyday affair, the scenery back in Boston didn’t seem
to cut it anymore. I had five days to
acclimate back to the Boston time when my short-lived trip to the west coast
started. First stop being the burliest
of towns: Boulder, Colorado. There the Flatirons are just towering over you
wherever you go, tempting you to take on their world-class 5.14b rock
grades. Unfortunately my mountaineering
skills were just in their novice stages at this point (they still are) so we
picked a nice chill trail and got to dip our feet in some creeks along the
way. Next stop was Bozeman, Montana
where we did a lot more drinking than anything else in preparation for the next
two weeks in Missoula, Montana, #6 on Outside Magazine’s best river towns of
2012. Missoula definitely lived up to
its river town hype and an inner tube was the most valued piece of equipment we
bought. The following day we took a quick drive to the drop in point, loaded up
our backpacks with booze, and started our relaxing float with some class III
rapids. After the initial rapids, where
we lost a gallon of bloody-mary mix and had a slightly injured party-mate, it
was the chilliest lazy river you’ve ever been on. The freezing cold water
running off the mountains only encourages you to chug whatever booze you have
left and then pass it on to whoever’s visibly shivering most. We’d rotate floating with hiking, usually
staying close to town and picking a trail on the Rattlesnake Wilderness Area. The
adventure I’m really suppose to be writing about starts about two weeks after
all this, back in Boston, after realizing I couldn’t afford the LA life I drove
cross country to find.
Sitting in
Nahant, Massachusetts trying to get a job all day just couldn’t compare to the
last two months of constant outdoor adventures. What the fuck do people in
Boston do? I stumbled upon the Appalachian Mountain Club’s (AMC) website and
found The Four Thousand Footer Club.
Basically a club of people who have climbed all of the four thousand
foot or above mountains in New England.
Four thousand feet of elevation is nothing if you’re just coming back
from the west coast where the towns start at four thousand feet, and you’re
looking up at 14ers all day, but it’s a start.
I checked out the map of all the mountains and figured I’d do the
closest one first, Mount Whiteface. Since I was doing this first one solo I put in
a good amount of time researching the trails and what I could expect up
there.
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Mount
Whiteface is one of the shorter mountains on the list, measuring at just
4,019ft. Despite only making the list by
19ft, you do gain a good 3,000ft in only 4 miles of trail to the summit, which
I definitely wasn’t ready for. I planned
on taking the shortest route, Blueberry Ledge Trail to the summit and then
kinda winging it from there. The biggest
mistake of the trip I attribute solely to the ridiculous weatherman, or whoever
updates the Sandwich Wilderness weather reports. This dude comes out with an absurdly high
chance of rain and/or snow, with wind-chill being in the 30s. I know New Hampshire can be cold but it was
the beginning of October, just out of the summer months, and Boston was still
in like the 60s. Anyway I packed up my
stuff for what I thought was going to be the next Ice Age. From other people’s
account of this hike it was going to take me a good 7-8 hours round trip so I
packed a good amount of food and water, a puffy, a rain jacket, gloves, hat,
and some extra baselayers. Along with an
emergency kit and knife my pack weighed 21lbs, which didn’t feel bad walking
around my room with, but on the mountain it dragged me down faster than Xanaxed
spiked punch at an LA frat party. (Thanks SigEp)
I woke up at 6am on a Sunday and
drove up to Whiteface. I made pretty
good timing getting there around 9am. The other cars already in the parking lot
were a relief after the slightly unnerving 3-hour car ride where I visualized
myself being robbed by squirrels who wanted my supplies. I put on my minimalist trail running shoes,
which was the second biggest mistake of the day, strapped on my pack and
started towards the trail. After about
20 minutes I passed my first group of hikers who had stopped for some water. I
was feeling pretty good, acting all mountain man like, and then out of nowhere
the trail grade really picked up its vertical.
For the rest of the hike till the summit there’d be probably a hundred
or two hundred feet of scrambling on rocks and then a small flat section and
then scrambling time again. I was sucking
wind and my legs were shot. My first big
rest was two and a half hours in at a clearing right above the treeline. I
thought I was close to the summit. I sat
to rest my chicken legs. My back was
suffering from the apparent 20lbs of brick I brought with me while my feet were
getting torn up by the rooty New Hampshire trail in my ridiculous minimalist
running shoes. Just as I was about to get up and make what I thought would be a
short stretch to the summit, this super bro pops out into the clearing with his
two trekking poles going crazy and runs right passed me up the trail. I thought I was cool passing the group of
people before the trail increased, but this dude just blew passed me like he’s
training for the Olympics. Feeling a
little embarrassed I got to my feet and carried on, super bro nowhere in
sight. Thirty minutes later I run into
two dudes that came up the longer trail and had stopped to rest. One asked me if I had hiked this before and I
answered with a quick no. He proceeded to scare the shit out of me. Apparently
right before the summit there was a ledge, something I must have overlooked in
the name “Blueberry Ledge Trail”. The
guy explained it was pretty dangerous and they were a little nervous about
it. So now I’m all alone on this
mountain about to climb up some ledge that these mountaineers are all nervous
about, and if I fall off no ones even gonna hear me crying on the way down,
unless some of those squirrel robbers happen to be nearby. I tried to act unafraid and went on my
way. The ledge appeared shortly after,
and I gave myself a good ten minute rest, partly because I needed it and partly
because I wanted someone else to show up and go first. No one showed up, so I said fuck it. I ate a quick bite of chocolate, because if I
was gonna fall off and die I’d want that to be my last supper. It isn’t too
long of a scramble up but it’s definitely the steepest part of the hike and
below you is pure death. The first
fifteen feet or so you’re holding onto this rock by little finger holes that
some nice person drilled into the mountainside so there’s some chance of
survival for amateurs such as myself. So
pointer finger by pointer I’m lugging my backpack full of bricks up the ledge
until I find a nice handhold. Finally
gaining some confidence, I let my body loosen up and the ledge was over. Once I got to the top I found some sort of
doggy daycare going on. Dogs were zooming around everywhere, skidding to the
side of the ledges and then running back towards the tree-covered summit. No time to stop now, my legs were jelly and I
just wanted to get home. Luckily I found
a friend on the trail, the coolest spaniel (I think) who would run down the
trail and then back up to make sure I was there. Eventually he realized I wasn’t his owner and
kinda took off in a panic, but it was good company while it lasted. On my way down I found a fork in the road,
Passaconaway Summit one way, Ferncroft Road the other way. My car was at Ferncroft road…but Passaconaway
was another 4000-footer and I was probably half way up already. I decided to torture myself a little bit
longer and bag another peak before heading back home. The trail to Passaconaway was more of a ridgeline
trail so not a lot of up and downs, more of switchbacks and slight inclines or
declines the whole way there. Much
easier on the legs than Whitefaces bullshit rock scrambles but I was definitely
losing steam. The super bro that flew by
me on my way up to Whiteface actually flew by me on my way up to Passaconaway,
only he was going down this time. I’d really love to know his secret. Anyway I bagged Passaconaway in no time and
headed down the trail looking like I had just gone on the bender of a
lifetime. I was almost home free when
the trail ended, and I was stuck with a decision to cross the small river next
to me, or continue forward and try to find the trail again. I thought the obvious route was crossing the
river but when I did I couldn’t find the trail again so I crossed back and
bushwhacked forward a bit. I was
officially lost. I grabbed my map from
my bag and tried to find where I was.
All I could tell was that the river I was walking along eventually led
to a town. Trying not to freak out I continued
walking through the thick brush alongside the river. I hit a swamp land and was walking through
shin deep mud when I decided I’m just going to walk in the river since I’m
already soaked. Well apparently you cant
walk in rivers either, because that’s the hardest thing in the world, so I was
basically fucked. No trail, no phone
service, suns going down in about an hour, and I can’t read a map. Knife out, ready to Rambo my way through the
woods, I put on all the extra layers I had and proceeded to walk perpendicular
to the river. This had to be the grossest mud in all of New Hampshire. I ripped my puffy insulated jacket and looked
like a cat had attacked my face by the time I found a different trail leading
to Ferncroft Road. Thanking God I wasn’t
lost for too long I stumbled my now shaking legs back to the car and sat in the
driver seat for a good 30 minutes not moving a muscle. Mud everywhere and about to go to sleep I
realized I had seriously overestimated my endurance level. It had been a 7-hour hike, I bagged two
peaks, and I learned some good lessons:
Lesson #1: Pack as light as possible
Lesson #2: Wear hiking shoes
Lesson #3: Stay on the trail
Lesson #4: Do more cardio
Lesson #5: The weatherman sucks
After scaling two four thousand footers in the same day who
would have thought applying a toes worth of pressure to the gas to get home
would be true final stretch. I guess
that’s what you get for East Coast living.